Group Therapy for Diverse Humans

Seeing ourselves as others see us.

Have you ever caught yourself looking in the bathroom mirror and suddenly see yourself from a new, unflattering angle? Ever get a glimpse of your reflection in a store window and see an unfamiliar expression on your face?

In these moments, we get a chance to see ourselves the way others see us.

You already know that cars have “blind spot” mirrors because sometimes your vision becomes obstructed, and you cannot see a vehicle that is right next to you.

Similarly, humans cannot see themselves from all angles, so we too have blind spots – aspects of ourselves that we cannot see but are apparent to others.

We all have blind spots. What if you have blind spots that are interfering with your ability to get close to people?

You consider yourself a very relatable person, yet it never seems to go anywhere whenever you try to make new friends. Although you try to take some friendships from the acquaintance level to the next level of friendship, it doesn’t work.

Based on these experiences, you have concluded that there must be something wrong with you. But you have no clue what it is, and you wish you knew what you did to repel the very people you want to get to know.

Deep down, you know you must rub people the wrong way. People seem to like you when they first meet you, but somehow you cannot sustain the initial magnetism.

Do you keep asking yourself why people don’t want to spend more time with you? And why don’t you get invited to parties like everyone else? Why is another weekend coming around, and you have absolutely no plans?

Knowing the truth leads to change.

It’s scary to consider that some aspects of your personality (that you don’t know about) people find unattractive. You will continue to repeat these same negative patterns until you notice them.

What if your blind spots are at cross purposes with your goals and desires?

Let others point out the blind spots.

Imagine how much your life would change if you had access to the parts of yourself that sabotage you daily.

It is simple to change once you are aware of exactly what needs changing.

Now imagine sitting among six to eight diverse humans who collectively see you from every angle.

What if these humans could gently tell you what it feels like to be around you when your blind spots are rampant and in full view?

In group therapy, you realize what it feels like for others to spend time with you. You hear from your peers what it is like for them – when you use a specific tone, are sarcastic (and then say, “I was only kidding”), are loud and impatient with people, or shut down or become detached because you feel excluded.

Jim’s blabbering is his blind spot.

Jim came to group therapy because he wanted to know why he could not make and sustain close friendships. After a few months in group therapy, the experience energized Jim, and he became engaged in all the group dialog.

He had no clue that his peers thought he talked too much or dominated the group’s time. Therefore, he continued to talk a mile-a-minute without knowing that he was pushing other group members away with his behavior.

A few more months pass. In a group session, Jim learns that a few of his fellow group members become increasingly irritated with his need to talk every session. Jim was stunned because he thought he was contributing positively to the group experience – it was the first time Jim felt like he had friends.

He felt criticized and rejected until remembering why he entered the group – to determine why he could not make new friends. Jim responded to the group’s prompting by saying that he had no idea that people thought he talked too much.

He reflected out loud, “Is this behavior something unique to this group, or do I over-talk outside of the group, too?” Of course, Jim knew the answer, and he was grateful for the information he received from his peers.

Now, Jim had the key to improve his relationships by merely talking less and listening more. He could absorb this uncomfortable information about himself because hearing how you come across to a diverse group of strangers was more believable than learning this information from the people who loved him. Plus, would they ever have the nerve to tell him? I guess they would be too worried about hurting Jim’s feelings.

The group experience is a mirror for how you genuinely behave in your own life. Group therapy is not an experience separate from life.

Find your blind spots through group therapy.

Starting group therapy and discovering your blind spots is like getting a personality “tune-up.”

Would you want to know what other people say about you behind your back? In a well-run group therapy experience, you will gradually learn how others perceive you when you are at your best – and not.

Once you come face to face with your blind spots, you have the choice to change yourself and how you interact with others – or not.

If this new information is delivered to you so you can hear it, wouldn’t you want to use this knowledge to change yourself and your relationships to feel more of a sense of belonging?

Listen to Jim’s experience and join the group.

I am currently interviewing people for a new group of diverse humans.

Text now to set up a phone consultation before the group fills up! Contact me at (949) 300-4623.