The connection felt sooooo good!
In the beginning of your relationship, you felt so in love you thought you would simply explode with joy.
On the weekends, you didn’t care where you went for dinner or whose friends you went out with.
You just wanted to be with your new favorite person. Near enough to touch, to connect, to feel that amazing sense of belonging with someone.
Back then you could not take your hands off each other. Conversation came easily and both of you could not wait to learn more about each other.
You finally felt like you found your “person.”
Last night when you were in bed together you noticed something different.
Instead of being wrapped in each other’s arms, you were wrapped up in watching Survivor on TV.
You are drifting. You are wondering what you do wrong in relationships.
You ask yourself, “Is it me or is it her?” Did you pick the wrong person again?
This is not the first time that you have struggled with intimacy.
This is not the first time you have pushed the person you love away.
In the beginning, this never used to happen. Why now?
When relationships start, both partners are invested in maintaining their in-love-ness.
Rather than have a healthy conflict over little things your partner does to irritate you, you decide to “let it go” in the name of keeping the connection going.
But you don’t let it go – you push it down and the irritations pile up.
These become bricks in the wall between you. The more you suppress your frustration the higher the wall gets.
Don’t mute yourself. Anxiety and irritation result from a failure to communicate.
It is a little scary to communicate when you are upset. You get flooded with uncomfortable emotions, and you can sometimes blow things out of proportion.
In couples therapy, you will learn simple strategies to communicate with each other when something isn’t working between you.
When you feel muted or simply don’t have the courage to say what you need to say, your thoughts turn negative and this creates ambivalence about the relationship.
Learn how to clear the air productively.
You spend so much time avoiding conflict that you’ve begun collecting topics that become “off-limits” in your relationship.
It starts with an argument over your work schedule and soon talking about work becomes too risky to bring up.
One by one these sensitive topics become bricks in the wall between you.
Let Gritty Therapy give each of you a boost over the wall so you can find each other again.
Call or text (949) 300-4623 now set up a 20-minute consultation.
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